Stop Yelling and Start Responding: The Art of the Re-Do

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I gave myself a minute to stop and think about the creative independent spirit outside.  I took a deep breath, walked outside and asked,  “Hey, bud.  I really messed that up.  Can I try again?”

With a nod to the affirmative and a few tears he said, “I don’t know why you are so mad at me.”  Time for a re-do.

Back inside I went.  This time, I walked outside and in a very surprised and loud voice said, “WOW!  Look at that artwork!  Whoa, and crayon wax everywhere!”

Now, take a deep breath and softer, “Help me understand why the picture is here instead of on the fence like we talked about and why the cushion is on the ground.”

Now to me, the situation was very clear, but to the 10-year-old brain, the perspective was different.

“Mom, the cord on the blow dryer didn’t reach very far.  The poster kept falling off the fence.  The crayons were breaking off and so I just put the picture right here.  Then, I couldn’t reach it very good because my arm was tired, and the cushion made me just the right height….”

I listened.  Then, after a hug and some guidance, he came up with a plan to help clean up the mess.  We relocated the poster and he finished the project.

Now almost 2 years later, I have gotten over the mess on the couch cushion, and even smile when I see it.  The crayon has faded and is barely noticeable.  Together we keep learning and practicing.

Most people don’t just stop yelling.  I sure didn’t.  It’s a hard habit to break!  The Art of the Re-Do gives you a plan to try again and begin moving in a better direction.

It’s a magical thing to feel connected as anger subsides and new options present themselves.  You don’t want to miss that shift!

Next time you lose your cool, let me help you practice the Art of the Re-Do.  Trust me, I’ve had a lot of practice!